


Happily Ever Jasper, Here We Are

by Prince_Jasper



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Healing, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:13:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23372239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prince_Jasper/pseuds/Prince_Jasper
Summary: "Find something better to do with your life."A story following Jasper through her journey of self discovery after the events of Steven Universe.
Relationships: Bismuth/Jasper (Steven Universe), Bismuth/Jasper/Pearl (Steven Universe), Bismuth/Pearl (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond's Pearl/Yellow Diamond's Pearl (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond/Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe), Blue Zircon/Yellow Zircon (Steven Universe), Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Earth Beetle & Heaven Beetle (Steven Universe), Jasper/Pearl (Steven Universe), Original Gem Character(s)/Original Gem Character(s) (Steven Universe), Pink Diamond's Original Pearl | Volleyball/Spinel, Ruby/Sapphire (Steven Universe)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 50





	1. Something Better

"Find something better to do with your life."

It had been weeks since Steven's departure from Beach City, yet those words continued to plague the orange quartz's mind. 

She hadn't trained, or done much of anything, since her final battle with Steven. She had made a small journey to Little Homeworld to say her own version of a goodbye to him, and returned home shortly after. She laughed. "Home" seemed too kind of a word for this place. Mostly barren, the "grass," as it was called, was slowly beginning to creep back into her clearing, but she found she didn't have the energy to rip it out of the ground.

What defines better? Jasper looked around at the small area she called hers. Crushed rocks, broken trees, and numerous craters and indents in the ground from her fight. She sighed, standing up.

Apparently anything was better than this. She looked at the bland landscape of her creation, and began to walk. She grabbed a stack of papers from her cave before heading in the direction of Little Homeworld. Having never visited before her goodbye, numerous gems and humans had given her pamphlets and brochures of their classes and businesses in the hopes that this mysterious, orange stranger would join them in their "happily ever after." Perhaps it was time for Jasper to give it a shot.


	2. Down to Bismuth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper makes a friend.

Jasper looked around hesitantly. There were so many buildings in Little Homeworld, how would she even find the correct one if she decided to take a class? She leafed through the numerous pamphlets in her hands, confused at the contents of nearly every one.

Art classes, gardening, human life studies, English writing? She wasn't sure she knew what any of these were. She sighed angrily before crumpling up the papers and went to toss them on the ground.

"Trash can's right there. Don't leave those laying around." A Bismuth had exited the blacksmith building right beside Jasper, and the burly, orange gem somehow hadn't noticed.

"Ya seem a little lost. Stuff ya don't want goes in these," the colorful gem chuckled, gesturing towards an object similar to a barrel. Jasper, grumbling, threw the paper inside and began to walk away.

"Say, wait up a sec! Aren't you Big O? What took ya so long to come to Little Homeworld?" The Bismuth began to follow her.

"What? O?" Jasper sped up.

"O, for orange. Yeah, you are! It's what my buddies and I called ya during the war!"

"You… You fought in the war?" Jasper stopped walking.

"I mostly made weapons, but yeah!"

Jasper studied her face. It was definitely familiar.

"It's always nice to meet some more veterans. You and your Quartzes had some good tactics. If I heard you were comin, I knew I had to up my shield game," the blacksmith smiled and offered her hand, and Jasper hesitantly shook it.

"Your… weapons were formidable." Jasper felt herself relax a bit in the presence of another battle-hardened gem.

"So, what brings ya to Little Homeworld?" Bismuth let go of her hand.

"I was… looking to take some classes?" Jasper felt herself grow embarrassed. Stumbling over her words in front of another veteran, even over stupid Earth classes.

"Nice! Anything in particular?" 

Jasper felt clueless at this question. She knew nothing about Earth culture, nothing about the classes offered, and, she realized, virtually nothing about her own interests outside of what Quartzes were expected to enjoy.

"Do… do you have any recommendations?"


	3. Tour Warped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper gets a tour of Little Homeworld

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little short, I apologise!

Now, at Bismuth's insistence, Jasper was enduring a small tour of Little Homeworld. Bismuth, having built or helped in building most of it, was quite knowledgeable and took great pride in giving Jasper information.

"We don't really go by semesters like human schools since we get new gems all the time, so lemme explain whatcha need to graduate before ya choose any classes." Bismuth smiled, leading Jasper towards a small, glass building. A sign said "Greenhouse" in both Gem and something Jasper didn't recognize.

"Graduate?" 

"Ya know, be done with school, ready to do your own thing."

"How long's that gonna take?" Jasper looked around at the colorful campus. Maybe this was a bad idea, what if she couldn't keep up with anything long-term?

"Well, pretty much as long as ya make it. Attend your classes for a while, and when you and your teachers think you're ready, ya graduate," Bismuth entered the building, "Hey Peridot, gimme one-a those planners for newbies."

"Sure thing Bis-" the short, green gem looked up from a plant, "Jasper?! What're you doing here?"

"What are YOU doing here?" Jasper took a step back, surprised.

"I'm a teacher! Gardening," Peridot gestured to the plants around her, "Are you actually going to try to take classes at Little Homeschool?"

"Yes," Jasper clenched her fist as Peridot scoffed, "What's so funny, runt?"

"Hey hey, knock it off," Bismuth stepped between the two, taking a small planner from Peridot's desk, "Jasper, I'll meetcha back outside."

From the look Bismuth gave her, Jasper took that as a polite "get out." So she did, but stood close enough to hear the nasally voice of that green runt complaining.

"You can't possibly be helping her! She's an insufferable clod!"

"Peri, just cuz you don't like her doesn't mean she doesn't deserve a chance."

"But what about what she did to Lapis? Or that Ocean Jasper?"

At that, Jasper felt woozy, a sharp pain on her chest and back, where their gems would've been if they were…

"It wasn't one-sided, Peridot, I've said that before. That's not your business to decide if somebody deserves a happy ending."

"Whatever. Just don't schedule her with me or Lazuli."

Jasper was shaking. Although, she supposed that's what she got for eavesdropping. She took a deep breath to steady herself as Bismuth exited the greenhouse.

"Sorry about that, Peri's nice enough, but she can be a little much sometimes." Bismuth handed her a planner, which included the same, cartoony art style that was on the "You and Your New Horns" pamphlet.

"Try being on a ship with her," Jasper chuckled, forcing herself to relax, "So, what's this?"

"That's your planner for classes! For graduation, ya need an art class, an outdoor class, a human life class, and an English writing class. I can help ya pick what's best."

"I get to pick?"

"Well yeah, for most of em. Human Life Studies and English Writing don't have multiple options, but for art and outdoors, you get to pick!" Bismuth smiled.

"What are those?" Jasper frowned, confused.

"Well, outdoors is just any of our classes relating to nature. There's swimming, hiking, scouts, gardening is Peridot so not that," Bismuth chuckled.

"Hiking." That was an easy choice. The sight of water still made Jasper sick, and after hundreds of scouting missions for Homeworld, she was tired of anything with the name.

"Oh, alright! Already decided!" Bismuth smiled, patting Jasper on the shoulder, "That's good! Now, art classes."

"What're those?" Jasper frowned at the large hand on her shoulder.

"Ya know like drawing, painting, music," Bismuth moved her hand at the other's discomfort.

"I don't draw. Or sing," Jasper scowled. She was never good with any sort of detailed stylus skills, having to write reports on Homeworld. And singing, ugh. She wasn't a bad singer, she just… Didn't like it. It felt too vulnerable, to express oneself like that.

"Well, for music, ya don't have to sing," Bismuth chuckled, "Ya can learn all about musical instruments and play one ya like."

"Alright," Jasper relaxed, "Let's go with that one. When do I start?"

"How 'bout Monday?" Bismuth grinned, circling the day in Jasper's planner, "Ya seem pretty eager there, Big O."

"Eager to get this over with," Jasper chuckled. She was excited for a fresh start, but at the same time, although she would never admit it, scared. She wasn't exactly well liked by the few gems she did know.

"I can show ya where all your classes are if ya want?"

"Alright." She sighed. What was she getting herself into?


	4. Bismuth-Teacher-Association

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper meets some of her teachers.

Bismuth first led her to one of the smaller, one room buildings in Little Homeworld. There were many tables and chairs, and in the front was a poster with the Gem alphabet and what Jasper could only assume to be the human alphabet.

"Blue and Yellow Diamond's ex Pearls teach this! Once ya get past their flirting with each other, they're great teachers!" Bismuth chuckled, "Next we have…" Bismuth looked at Jasper's schedule, "Human Life Studies! That's Amethyst, since she's the gem who knows the most about eating, which is very important to humans!"

Jasper groaned.

"What? Don't like eating?"

"Wha-? No, never tried it," Jasper sighed, "Amethyst and I didn't end on good terms last time we spoke. I thought she only taught the one class!"

"Well, with Steven away, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl have a lot more time on their hands, so they're teaching more. And I'm sure you have nothing to worry about, Amethyst can be very professional!"

Jasper laughed.

"I'm serious," Bismuth laughed, "I know it doesn't seem like it, but she can be a great teacher! Give it a shot! If it doesn't work out, you can tell me ya told me so."

Jasper frowned. She could always just go back to her cave if she didn't like the school. Something about the expecting look on Bismuth's face compelled her.

"Fine, I'll try it," Jasper looked away from the other gem, "But if I hate it…"

"That's more like it!" Bismuth laughed, beginning to lead Jasper to Amethyst's class area, "Believe me, it's a hard adjustment to all this."

Amethyst's "classroom" seemed to simply be a chalkboard outside. 

"This class moves around a lot, so Amethyst didn't really want a classroom."

Jasper looked at the chalkboard. On it was a diagram of some strange, squiggly mass with human words above it. Before she could ask, Bismuth was already leading her away.

"Let's see… Garnet does hiking when Ruby and Sapphire don't have classes or scouts!"

Jasper held back her displeasure at that. Was English Writing her only class that wouldn't be taught by a Crystal Gem?!

It was. Her last class, music, was taught by the Pearl and Steven's father. Jasper grumbled at having to walk on the sand to reach their home, but Bismuth assured her that getting to meet at least a few of her teachers before next week would be beneficial.

"Now, I'm not sure if Pearl is even home," Bismuth led her onto Steven's porch, "but I'm certain Greg is. Maybe he'll even give you some pointers before your first class!"

Not only was Pearl home, Garnet and Amethyst were too. At Bismuth's entrance they got up excitedly to greet her, but at Jasper's, they stopped. It was incredible how quickly they went from welcoming to defensive. The fusion's fists were clenched, ready to summon her gauntlets in a second, while the human, Greg, simply held tighter to his book from his spot on the couch.

"What is SHE doing here?" Amethyst walked over, arms crossed.

"Woah woah woah! Relax guys! I got her signed up for classes at Little Homeschool!" Bismuth held out her arms placatingly.

"A-Are you sure that's a good idea?" Pearl looked at Bismuth, hands held to her chest.

"She said she wants to try it, I don't see why we shouldn't let her! Garnet, help me out here," Bismuth chuckled nervously.

Garnet's expression was unreadable. The fusion thought for a moment, before simply shrugging.

"One wrong move and she's gone," Garnet headed to the door, "I've got to prep the hiking trail for Monday."

Jasper could feel Garnet's glare through her sunglasses as she left.

"Well, if Garnet didn't see any immediate threats in the future…" Pearl looked around nervously.

"She hurt Steven," Amethyst glared around the room.

"Didn't most of us? If we went by that, I'd still be in a bubble!" Bismuth chuckled. At that, Amethyst was silent.

Pearl seemed incredibly anxious.

"Well yes… But Bismuth, why did you bring her here?" Pearl looked Jasper up and down, and the Quartz simply glared.

"Figured she could talk to some of her teachers before classes, just to get prepared.Human Studies with Amethyst, Hiking with Garnet, English, and music with you and Greg! Adjusting'll be hard enough without just jumpin blindly into it. It'd be nice for her to talk to ya outside of class"

"We've talked before," Amethyst crossed her arms, glaring daggers at Jasper before leaving the same way Garnet did.

"Ams, wait-" Bismuth called after her as the door slammed shut. The colorful gem sighed. Pearl patted her arm comfortingly.

"You really tried, if that's something! If… If it means that much to you, I'm sure I can convince them to come around," Pearl looked at Jasper, and back at Bismuth. She still seemed anxious at the orange Quartz's presence.

"Thanks P. It's just… Weren't we all in the same place at some point?" Bismuth gestured towards Jasper, "Don't they see that?"

"Why do you even care? I don't blame Amethyst. She gave me a chance, and I pushed her away. And Steven, and anyone else who asked me to come to Little Homeworld. This was a bad idea. I... should just get going." Jasper looked around.

"Just because you weren't ready for help then, doesn't mean you aren't ready for help now," Greg finally spoke, "And if they don't want to help you, I sure as heck will! You did your best to help Steven whenever he thought nobody else could, and I'll do the same for you. Everyone messes up, what matters is if you fix it," the expression on his face told Jasper he wasn't only talking about her.

Greg offered his hand to shake. Jasper had never been this close to a real human (Steven was half gem after all), let alone TOUCH one. She cringed a bit before lightly shaking his hand. Although it was sweaty and clammy, Jasper felt his sincerity.

"I'll… I'll do my best to help as well!" The Pearl looked around nervously.

"Me too," Bismuth patted Jasper on the shoulder, "You need anything, you come ask me for help, ok?"

Jasper simply nodded, stunned. How could they still want to help her?

"Well, I suppose I'd better get a lesson plan ready!" Pearl forced a smile onto her face, "Do you have any musical experience, Jasper?"

"No." Great, now she'd have to talk to the Pearl about her lack of experience in anything that wasn't fighting.

"That's quite alright! How about we give you some reading materials to study before class?"

Jasper frowned. She hadn't even had her first class yet, and she had homework! 

"Here!" Greg handed her a small book. It was printed in English, but had handwritten translations in Gem Glyph.

"Thanks… uh… Greg," Jasper studied the cover of the book.

"Oh! We had better get you a bag for your school supplies," Pearl scurried upstairs before returning with a simple, over-the-shoulder bag. She lengthened the strap before handing it to Jasper, who was now dumbfounded at the gifts. She hadn't done anything to earn them!

"If ya don't mind swingin by my place, I can getcha a watch so you're not late for your first classes! You can get a cellphone eventually, but it'll take a little while," Bismuth smiled.

"Yes! The mayor has agreed for the city to provide cellphones for gem students as long as they do some sort of community service!" Pearl summoned her own phone from her gem. Jasper had seen the small devices numerous times, and they still baffled her. How could so much tech fit into something so small?

"Community service?" Jasper frowned. She certainly didn't like the sound of that. Community implied working with others, and service implied taking orders from someone she didn't know, two things Jasper wasn't too keen on.

"I know what you're thinking, but it's not bad! Simple stuff like helping teachers or picking up litter! Couple times a week, ya get your own phone!" Bismuth smiled.

"Alright," Jasper sighed. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. If it was, she could just leave. Although, even the thought of going back to her pathetic, lonely, little dwelling made her heart ache. She could tolerate just about anything to get away from that. She smiled, attempting to feign confidence in her decision to live Earth life. Simple Earthling tasks would be no match for Jasper!


	5. Home Sweet Home?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper receives a gift, and realizes she'll have to start thinking for herself.

Jasper was now being led by Bismuth to the blacksmith building as the sun began to set.

"Lemme find a watch big enough for your wrist! I won't hear the end of it if you're late to Pearl's class! You left or right handed? It goes on your non-dominant hand," Bismuth chuckled, digging through a few boxes.

"Left, but… But why are you giving me one? I have a fairly accurate internal clock, as do most Quartzes."

"I wanna give ya something nice! A welcome gift!"

"But WHY?" Jasper looked exasperated as Bismuth stood up, holding a watch. It was a beautiful copper one, orange like Jasper.

"Because you asked like that," Bismuth made her way towards Jasper.

"What? What's wrong with how I asked?" 

"Nothing! But I know how it feels, and I want to make you feel welcome," Bismuth took Jasper's right hand in her own, and fastened the watch around her wrist. Her hands were rough, but there was something almost… comforting about the blacksmith's touch. Yeesh, Jasper had been alone for way too long.

"I…" Jasper stared down at it. It was gorgeous. How could Bismuth possibly think she deserved this? It was probably worth a lot in human currency, and she was just giving it away?!

"What do ya think?" Bismuth grinned, and Jasper almost felt disappointed as she moved her hand away from Jasper's.

"Thank you," Jasper found herself almost saluting Bismuth, muscle memory wanting to take over. She silently cursed herself and smacked a hand to her forehead, ignoring the way it made her cracked horn throb with pain.

"Hey, easy, Big O. I get it. It'll take some time to shake off everything."

Jasper sighed.

"You have anywhere to stay in Little Homeworld yet?" Bismuth patted her shoulder, and she was thankful for the change of subject.

"No, not yet."

"Lemme see what we got," Bismuth picked up a tablet from her workbench and tapped the screen a few times.

"How's this?" Bismuth flipped the screen around. It showed a fairly nice apartment. It was on the ground floor and sized for larger gems, with the apartment above it being for smaller gems.

"Who's in the one above it?" Jasper was hesitant to share a building, even if she planned to keep to herself.

"Oh! Heaven and Earth! They won't cause ya any trouble!"

"Heaven and Earth?" Jasper cocked an eyebrow, confused.

"Nobody's really sure what gems they are," Bismuth chuckled, showing Jasper a picture of two absolutely tiny gems, "Heck, I'm not even sure they know! So, what do ya say?"

"I… I'm not sure. They won't mind me there?"

"Why would they? They've got no reason to mind!" The smith smiled

Bismuth was right. Jasper had never met these gems, and they didn't yet have a reason to dislike her. Assuming everyone disliked you was a good tactic to stay safe on Homeworld, but… not on Earth.

"Alright."

"Great! I can lead you there if ya want?"

"Fine," Jasper looked down at her wrist. She had never had very many belongings, let alone something this nice. She sighed. She would have to be very careful.

"Alright! Let's go!" Bismuth grinned, leading her outside. They passed several buildings before reaching the tower. Jasper felt guilt and embarrassment creep through her as she remembered the holes she had put in its walls. A… lapse in common sense. A last ditch attempt to cling onto anything that would tell her what to do. Anything that kept her from having to think. Because when Jasper thought, she thought about the past. And when she thought about the past, it made her angry. And, although she didn't want to admit it, terribly sad. How pathetic, she thought, shaking her head.

She scanned the walls for the damage. Maybe, with any luck, it had gone unnoticed by Bismuth, or even repaired by Steven's healing powers. Those worked on inanimate things, didn't they? Jasper paused. Why did she care if Bismuth had seen? It wasn't as if she was trying to befriend the blacksmith, or anything else happy or sappy like that.

"Pretty good patch job, eh?" Bismuth smacked the wall. Drat. She did know. Jasper grumbled. She had failed to impress Steven and now Bismuth, with her very Quartz-like antics. And it certainly disappointed Jasper that she had cracked through that wall in the first place.

"I… uh… sorry about that," Jasper felt her face grow flushed.

"Nah, don't sweat it. If we wasted time gettin' mad at anyone who had an outburst, we'd have no time to fix anything!" She laughed and continued walking. Jasper followed.

It seemed like they were approaching relatively new construction, buildings further down the street not yet completed. 

"In fact, this whole little area had to be rebuilt after Steven's… little outburst," Bismuth gestured around them at the new and incomplete buildings. Jasper had only a scattering of knowledge about what had happened after her shattering and healing from Steven's last visit to her cave. Sheesh, did that kid like to apologise. Jasper was fine, just as long as she didn't think about it too much! Strong as ever!

"Here we are!" Bismuth stopped at a brown building, and opened the door. Beside the door was a small elevator, no doubt for the tiny tenants she would be sharing the building with.

"Check it out," Bismuth gestured for her to go inside, so she did.

"Woah," Jasper had never been allowed to stay anywhere so… relaxed! Quartz's chambers were tight cubbies packed together meant to mimic emergence holes, not something so cozy!

"It's all yours as long as ya want to stay at Little Homeworld! Ya like it?"

Jasper simply nodded, stunned.

"This here is the "living room," some humans call it a den, and over there is the kitchen! Down the hallway is the bedroom and bathroom," Bismuth led Jasper around excitedly, showing her the different pieces of furniture. Jasper was familiar with beds, couches, chairs, and bathtubs, as some of her upper-crust assignments on Homeworld had owned them. She chuckled thinking about one of her first missions under Yellow, escorting a noble Hessonite to a potentially dangerous planet. The gaudy Garnet had been devastated that she couldn't bring her lounge chair on the ship.

"Anything else you need?" Bismuth's question interrupted Jasper's nostalgia for a moment.

"Yes. What are all these?" She gestured towards the many small furnishings and appliances in the "kitchen."

"Those? You'll learn all about 'em in Amethyst's class," Bismuth smiled, "Now, I gotta get going! Gems don't need it, but I do enjoy sleep! Good luck with your classes, Big O! I'll be checking up on ya!" Bismuth headed for the door.

Jasper looked at the colorful woman. She had a million questions for her. Why was she helping Jasper, of all gems? Why was she being so kind? What reason would she have to get her enrolled? Or house her? Or check up on her?

"Wait, Bismuth!" Jasper took a step towards her.

"Yeah?" Bismuth turned around, hand on the doorknob.

"Uh…" Jasper faltered. She knew SHE wouldn't appreciate being asked so many personal questions at once, so, although she was burning to know the answers, Jasper decided she'd wait. After all, if the Bismuth wanted to check up on her, she could always ask then.

"T-thank you, Bismuth." 

"Don't mention it! I'll check up on ya sometime this week!"

And with that, Jasper was alone. She seemed to be alone a lot, didn't she? She sighed, wandering towards the bathroom. 

What was she supposed to do? She yearned for someone to tell her, anybody, even though, deep down, she knew that that was the last thing she needed. It just seemed like too much to begin to unravel herself, and what she really wanted. Not what an Agate or a Diamond or anybody else wanted. She knew what THEY would want of her, back before Era 3. Stay strong, be silent, don't show emotion, don't get attached, follow commands. That wasn't what she wanted anymore.

But what was it that she DID want?


	6. Water You Doing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper takes a bath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic won't contain any smut or explicitly NSFW content (Unless there's a lot of interest, but I don't foresee that happening lmao). Just basic taking-a-bath stuff and maybe some smooches later on in the fic!

Jasper sighed, looking around the clean, tiled room. It was nothing like Steven's bathroom after her… incident. His was dark and cramped, and this was bright and roomy. She could handle it.

She had seen elite gems use bathtubs and extraction chambers numerous times, and they seemed like they were quite relaxing. Jasper reached for the knobs above the faucet, twisting the blue one until water began to flow. A soothing bath is a good idea, Jasper thought as she submerged her hand to feel the water.

Bad idea. Very very bad idea. The ice-cold water sent shock through her entire being, and suddenly, she was on the floor, chained by shackles flowing from all around her. Teal flooded her vision, and she gasped, struggling against the chains. They only got tighter and tighter as she fought to reach the faucet handles. As her hand wrapped around the blue one to turn it off, the chains relinquished their grip. She fell forward, barely catching herself on the edge of the tub.

Jasper sat against the tub for a few minutes, gasping for air long after the water had drained. She stood up shakily, looking at the faucet. Maybe it was morbid curiosity, or the fact that she had no sense of self-preservation, but Jasper reached for the red handle. She squeezed her eyes shut, fearing what would happen.

To her surprise, warmth flowed from the faucet this time. She stuck her hand in the stream. It felt… nice. She put the plug in the drain and watched the tub fill.

Although unnecessary, Jasper decided to phase off her clothes. She knew some gems did that, and she needed to check her corruption spots anyway. She took off her watch from Bismuth and bag from Pearl before lowering herself into the tub. 

Jasper looked down, and groaned. The spots on her arms were about the same, but the one on her stomach seemed bigger. She remembered being told by Steven a while ago that they'd heal with time, but she had been healed from corruption over two years ago. They sure wanted to take their time, didn't they? Hesitantly, she poked it. Gross. She still wasn't used to the roughness of the spots, no doubt due to the fact she avoided thinking about them, let alone touching them. At least it didn't hurt like her cracked horn or her eye.

Speaking of her eye, she figured she'd better see what other scars she had sustained. She inspected her form, but luckily found no breaks in her stripes. That came as a bit of a relief, as her horn and eye were almost constantly in a state of dull pain, and she found her eye went blurry if she focused on something for too long. She was thankful she had no other sore spots, for now. Although she deeply wished she could be rid of these unsightly teal spots in some way aside from the Diamonds.

About a week before Steven's departure, he had come to apologise (yet again), invite her to Little Homeworld (yet again), and to tell her that Yellow Diamond could heal her horns and reduce her spots. Although tempting, Jasper felt sick at the idea of seeing the diamonds, especially Yellow.

During that visit, Jasper had, of course, asked about the large, pink monster she had seen from her cave, and she received a much more vague answer than when she asked about the large, pink injector during one of Steven's earlier visits. She had been told the whole story about the Spinel's abandonment, vengeful plans, and eventual redemption. This time however, she had been told that it was fine now, and nothing to worry about.

Jasper wasn't stupid of course. From Steven's hesitance to answer and the fact that the Pearl had accompanied him this time, it was pretty easy to piece together that he had corrupted. She didn't mention it, not wanting to push him. She played dumb, after all, she hated thinking about her own corruption, but the Pearl had seemed to sense that she knew and quickly escorted Steven home.

That Pearl really puzzled Jasper. From her unorthodox fashion sense to her conflicting actions. She hated Jasper, why did she want to make an effort to help her? It had been Pearl herself who told Jasper of Steven's impending leave from Beach City. Jasper had even asked her why she bothered to warn the enemy of the Crystal Gems, and Pearl had simply laughed, saying she knew what Jasper was going through. The nerve of that Pearl to compare her own story to Jasper's struggles made her plasma boil. That scrawny, pale gem had no idea what Jasper had been through!

Jasper sat in the hot water for some time, stewing over the Pearl, before deciding to detangle her hair. She couldn't remember the last time she had actually done it, as that was usually an activity platoons of Quartzes did together. She ran her fingers through her long mess of hair for a while. The tub had cooled down a bit by the time she finished, so she unplugged the drain and got out.

Jasper inspected her form in the mirror. Many Quartzes had now opted for shorter hair or more relaxed clothes, but truth be told, Jasper loved her long hair and simply didn't feel like picking a new outfit. That could wait until next time she poofed. She phased her clothes back on and dried off.

She sighed. So much for a relaxing bath, now that she was focused on her appearance.


	7. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper dreams of her past, or "Yellow Diamond is a Liar Sometimes"

Jasper inspected the bedroom. It wasn't a very creative name, but it certainly looked comfortable. It had been a long time since Jasper had actually slept. She had done it frequently after switching courts, but stopped when she started to experience nightmares. She supposed it couldn't hurt to try again, and if she did have nightmares, she didn't have a platoon of Citrines and Bumblebee Jaspers to mock her tears.

She sighed, climbing on the bed. She hated thinking about her platoon in Yellow's court. They had simply been a cruel reminder of the platoon she lost from Earth. They hadn't had the same bond, and Honey Agate had been cruel. They simply felt like co-workers, not sisters. She sneered, remembering the taunts of "Nosey lost to Rosey." 

That damn nickname had earned her a reputation for being, well, nosey. Jasper supposed she could be considered nosey to some, but she preferred to think of it as perceptive. Nosey was not a pleasant nickname. She had almost been thankful when she had been promoted to solo status, just below Agates.

Almost. She couldn't decide what was worse. Taunts from Quartzes she didn't fit in with, or the loneliness that came with the promotion, save for the occasional escort mission. She ached for companionship, but the companions she desired were long gone.

Jasper sighed. Should she be dwelling on the past like this, or ignoring it in order to move forward uninhibited? She rubbed her eyes, but not because she was crying or anything! She tried to relax. If she slept, she wouldn't have to dwell on anything.

Jasper drifted off to sleep.

************************************************

She was aware that she was dreaming, but this dream seemed hauntingly familiar. Yellow Diamond's room. It seemed she was watching herself. Her past self, still with unmarked skin and her pink uniform. 

Past Jasper approached the matriarch, saluting.

"Yellow Diamond."

"Red Striped Jasper, Facet 4, cut 6xH?" The yellow woman stared down at her coldly.

"Yes, Yellow Diamond."

"I have watched your progress. You're quite the Quartz, you know. It seems you were the only valuable thing to come out of that waste of a kindergarten."

Jasper felt tears prick her eyes, and she was sure her past self felt the same sensation.

"I'm taking you into my court. With our recent… loss…" Yellow quickly cleared her throat, "Gems must be redistributed appropriately."

Past Jasper nodded. Yellow Diamond rubbed her hands together, generating sparks, before roughly tapping Past Jasper's head. Her uniform quickly switched colors.

"Be warned, Jasper. My court is not as relaxed as you are used to. I expect the best from all gems, at all times. Some Topazes will arrive shortly to escort you to your new platoon."

As if on cue, two buff, blocky, yellow gems entered the room. One had a right ear gem, the other a left. Past Jasper turned to follow them.

"Oh, and Jasper?"

"Yes, Yellow Diamond?"

"Please, call me your Diamond now."

"Yes, My Diamond?" Present Jasper knew what was coming, and begged herself to say something, to do something. To scream, to shout, to protest, anything! But the room remained silent. She tried to move, to fight, to summon her helmet, but nothing happened.

"The Betas are gone," Yellow clenched her fist, and Present Jasper could almost feel the pain of shattering.

Past Jasper's eyes widened, tears forming in her eyes.

"You are not to ask about them, ever. If you do, there will be consequences. Your loyalties now lie with me."

"Yes, My Diamond," past Jasper's voice was quivering as she saluted. 

"That will be all."

The dream ended as Past Jasper followed the Topazes.

************************************************

Jasper awoke, crying. She looked out the window. The sun was barely up. So much for peaceful sleep.

She sighed. She hated thinking about the Betas even more than thinking about her time with Honey Agate and that platoon. She spent quite a long time absolutely distraught over them. After many punishments from Honey for tears, Jasper had even begun to resent them. Her own sisters!

She angrily wiped her eyes. What would they think of her? Now or then. 

Then, to a freshly traumatized Jasper, they had been, as put by Honey Agate, "a disgusting stain on an otherwise perfect record." She had been brainwashed to resent "defective" gems, and even now she carried a deep loathing for her own imperfections. 

And now? Jasper was just ashamed.

**Author's Note:**

> Prepare for mushy, sappy, and cliches galore as I give this orange meathead the healing journey she deserves!
> 
> I won't really have a regular uploading schedule, just whenever inspiration hits!
> 
> Chapter length will probably be kinda inconsistent, I apologise!


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